So This Happened

By Pam Firle - Therapist in Dripping Springs

It was the 23rd of December and a lovely Texas afternoon. My daughter and her family had just flown in from Wisconsin for the week and we were on a neighborhood walk with our grandchildren. As you can imagine, the kids were traveling twice as far as the rest of the family; running back and forth and up and down the side yards. As we walked, my eye caught my five year old grandson running up and down some mulch piles along the side of the road. In an impulsive moment I decided to join him.

I say impulsive because I don’t remember thinking about it, I just remember moving. And although it felt playful and fun, let’s just say my descent was not as graceful as his. It wasn’t a bad tumble; just an unfortunate landing. My brain was in denial it was anything really serious but within a couple of hours x-rays confirmed what I feared; that I had broken my right wrist. And I am indeed right handed. 

Even if you’ve never broken a bone, I’m sure you can relate to a time when a split second decision, or the lack of one, changed everything. 

As my mind struggled to take in my new reality, it easily defaulted into self-judgment; telling me what a dumb thing I had done and that I was to blame for ruining my family’s holiday vacation. Though my rational mind recognized it as a simple accident, emotionally I felt convicted of a grievous mistake and this did not sit well. Though I have spent decades in the practice of taming my inner perfectionist, I was reminded that she is alive and well. 

CAN YOU RELATE?

I have had a few weeks now to calm her down and begin to put my experience in a more balanced perspective. As a proponent of mindful and conscious living, I try to observe my experience as well as having it. 

Even in going through something so unwelcome, I believe there is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow if we are open to it. So while I am just beginning the healing process (I am two weeks post surgery today), I would like to share five opportunities for growth that I’ve noticed so far.

1. To practice self-acceptance; of my fallibilty, my limitations and my lack of control to change things.
2. To practice receiving support and allowing help. I’ve been blessed with amazing help from family and friends, which though greatly appreciated runs counter to my independent nature.   
3. To practice slowing down and being mindful; mostly because I don’t have a choice! Doing everything with your non-dominant hand requires slow and intentional movement – from personal care, to cooking and eating, writing, cleaning, driving and using the computer. 
4. The challenge of learning something new; and EVERYTHING feels new.
5. Increased compassion for those living with chronic pain. As painful as my broken wrist has been, my discomfort is part of a healing process. My pain will pass at some point, but others live without such reassurance. Living with pain is taxing on the mind, body and spirit.

It occurs to me that all of these are practices I believe in and encourage others to embrace. In fact, they’re practices worthy of being on your New Year’s resolution list. 

There are, however, far easier ways to practice them than breaking your wrist! It doesn’t have to take a crisis to choose to slow down or increase self-acceptance. In fact I highly encourage you not to wait for one. If you feel drawn to one of these, make it your focus for 2019. It will change your life.

May your 2019 be rich with opportunities,